Moving Forward

Moving Forward

Sometimes we feel like giving up. I know, I've been there. The last quarter of last year was one of the hardest for me and my family. My brother and I both lost our father and our father-in-laws. That's a tough thing to have to go through. But, we both have put on our adult underwear and have kept on going. It's not easy. We do still hurt. We just don't show it as much as some others.

My mother-in-law lost her life long partner. They met when she was 11 and he was 16. Their families used to go out to Oregon together in the summers to harvest crops. Then they would come back to Oklahoma and the kids would go to school. Each of them were one of twelve children. I can only imagine how hard this has been for her. He was an amazingly wonderful man. He was 71 when he passed, just 19 days before his 72nd birthday. He got to meet his grandchildren and even had 2 step-great-grandchildren. He was always sharing his knowledge with anyone willing to listen. He was a very smart man and very quiet. My husband has accused me of being his Dad in our marriage. I've accused him of being his Mother in our marriage.

My father was born with a bad heart. The hole that closes as soon as you are born didn't close for him. The newspapers used to call him "The Blue Baby" because he would turn blue and pass out sometimes. He had several open heart surgeries growing up. His last one was when he was 19. The procedure was experimental at the time. They gave him 10 years life expectancy. He was 73 when he passed. He never expected to have 3 kids, 2 grandchildren, and 2 great grandchildren that he would get to see. And, he even added to that with 2 step-children and 4 step-grandchildren.

I learned from my father that each day is a gift. Every day that he woke up was a day that he wasn't promised and he lived it like it was his last because it could have been. I learned from him that we can't change the past. We can only move forward and learn from it.

It hurts to go on without these two wonderful men as a part of my life. But I know that neither one of them would want me to stop living, stop learning, stop helping, or stop teaching what I have learned.

2019 hasn't started out the way that I had hoped but that doesn't mean that the entire year is a bust. It just means a couple of days have been crappy so far. So don't let a bad day convince you that it's your destiny to have a horrible rest of your life. It's just one day. If you're blessed enough to wake up tomorrow it's a new gift and you can do whatever you want with it.

I want to make this year my year of "Gifts" if you will. Each day is a gift. Even if I don't feel like going on I'm going to put on my big girl panties and face the day. After all, it could turn out to be my best day yet. I won't know until I go on. I know that not every single day will be a good day. But I choose to believe that I'm going to have more good days than bad days. You should too.

So, hang in there. It's bound to get better eventually. Take it one day at a time and if you have to, one minute at a time. Some days I can go all day without crying, others... I cry off and on throughout the day. And it's okay to have those sad moments. Just don't make your home there. Feel them but realize that it's okay to have the happy moments too. It doesn't make you a bad person to be happy. It makes you a better person.

I truly hope that you have more good days than bad days.

Until next time....

Keep Chasing The Dream!


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